Author: RamG Vallath (Affiliate Link)
Children don’t learn by preaching — they learn by watching. 👀
👨👧 One day, the author went shopping with his little daughter (just 2️⃣ years old!) and two relatives. While the relatives were busy shopping 🛍️, his daughter noticed a tiny frown 😕 on her father’s face.
To everyone’s surprise 😳, she suddenly blurted out the F-word 😅 — used perfectly in context, though grammatically off. The reason? 👉 She had heard it from her father earlier — he hadn’t censored his words around her 🙈.
Realizing this, the author calmly explained 🗣️ that some words are only for adults, and from that day till she turned 1️⃣5️⃣, she never used it again! 👏
So be the example you want your child to follow 🌱💬
🌿 When Actions Speak Louder Than Words
While reading Active Parenting by RamG Vallath, I came across a story from the author’s own childhood that beautifully shows how children learn not from lectures but from what they see every day 👀.
One day, his parents went shopping 🛍️. His mother stepped inside a shop while his father waited outside, smoking a cigarette 🚬. Suddenly, the lit end of the cigarette accidentally touched a passerby’s mundu — a traditional South Indian garment similar to a dhoti 👔 — leaving a small burn hole in it 😬.
Panicked, his father quickly signaled his wife 🤫, and the two hurried away from the spot 🏃♂️💨. Later, when they got home, his father narrated the incident to young RamG Vallath with a light tone, almost as if it were a funny story.
But the child didn’t take it that way. He was shocked 😮. In his innocent mind, he felt his parents should have stayed back and compensated the man instead of running away. After all, he had always been taught that honesty and responsibility matter most 💭.
That moment stayed with him — a subtle reminder that children notice everything, and our actions speak far louder than our words. 🌱
✨ We may teach values through words, but we model them through our behavior. 💫
The values children display are often a reflection of the values that parents demonstrate
Active parents not only role model positive behaviour, they actively desist from displaying negative behaviour.
🌸 Owning Up Makes You a Stronger Parent
Active parenting isn’t about being always right — it’s about being real. 💭
When parents make a mistake (and we all do 😅), the best thing they can do is own up to it instead of defending themselves. Children don’t lose respect when you admit you’re wrong — in fact, they respect you more for your honesty and courage. ❤️
By calmly explaining the reason behind certain behaviors 🗣️ and acknowledging when something could’ve been handled better, parents teach one of the most valuable life lessons — humility. 🙏
And if a child happens to point out the right thing, praising them for it 👏 rather than feeling embarrassed helps them grow into confident, empathetic adults. 🌱
Sometimes, a simple “I’m sorry” to your child 💬 can speak louder than a hundred lectures — it shows them that even grown-ups are learning too. 🌼